WordPress, I tried to love you, but it’s just too much of a pain to deal with you. I made a much prettier blog and well, WordPress, it’s over between us.

My new blog is at Why Does the Bird Sing?. Update accordingly, or not. This blog will stay up for a week or two but then I’m going to delete it in the interest of privacy or something.

Do you know, I don’t think I have worked hard for anything ever in my life.

Okay, maybe once. I suck at Math, but miraculously in my junior year after some major studying and work, I was able to get a B one semester and then an A my final semester. Okay, that was hard. And I felt awesome when I saw those grades.

But other than that? Dude, I am one LAZY sack of Oreos. No wonder I’m having such a hard time at this parenting thing – it requires hard! work! And I am not used to hard! work!

Yes I am aware this post will make me sound like spoiled rich girl. I totally was spoiled, but not nearly as spoiled as my *snarl* Perfect Sister with the new car/new piano/paid trip to Europe. Snarl. But still, after I moved out of my parent’s house, I totally failed at taking care of myself. I couldn’t hold down a job because I was too lazy. I failed out of school because I didn’t bother going. Not that I couldn’t do the work, but because I was too lazy to actually drive myself to the school. Oh, sad day.

So I want to challenge myself. To work my butt off. Suddenly all my problems have kind of become clearer. Why am I having a hard time losing weight? It’s HARD. Why am I such a lazy parent? It’s HARD. Why is my house a mess with scary experiments growing in the toilets? Because cleaning is HARD.

Not hard, but it requires effort. I am so lame.

So, we are moving to our new place on Saturday. And I’m challenging myself with possession of a living creature. And if it doesn’t work out for real reasons, then that’s okay. But no giving up just because it’s hard. I’m tired of being lazy. No more lazy! We want to work! Work work work!!

But what I really really want is a bag of Oreos.

It’s another one of those move to Australia days.

Can I move to Scotland instead?

For Mother’s Day, we took pictures of my mom’s family, our little family, and my aunt’s family to give to Grandma in a fancy frame. Here are some of those pictures. I’m looking for our camera cord so I can show off Toby’s new trick. Here’s a hint on what it is: we call it the turtle-face.

None of the pictures of the whole T family and us turned out very well, mostly because my brother always tries to look as stupid as possible in photos. When we’d finally yelled at him enough to get it into his thick 17 year old skull that he needed to look decent, Toby had had enough and started screaming. Sheesh.

Yesterday I did a 5K. It’s the first one I’ve done alone, so I was pretty nervous. But I turned on my iPod and headed out with the other runner/walker/joggers. I managed to jog for about 3 minutes, which is a HUUUUGE deal for me, and then I walked and jogged sporadically for the rest of the race.

Funny thing though. The girl who was supposed to be turning people around at the halfway point didn’t know that was her job. So I’m huffing and puffing along when a guy in a volunteer shirt and a bike rides up and tells me to turn around. There was only about 6 people behind me at that point who hadn’t been turned around, the rest of the people who were behind them got turned around at the right place. The runners who were in front of us must have run to the end of the trail before turning around. Yikes!

So instead of doing a 5K, which is 3.2 miles, I did a 4.5 miler. I had two goals for this race: 1, do not finish last. Accomplished!!! 2, finish in less than an hour. This one is iffy. If I had been turned around at the right place, I would have made it. As it was, I did my 4.5 miles in 1 hour and 3 minutes. So I’m counting it as a victory.

Anyway, the whole race results are skewed now so I guess it doesn’t really matter. The point is I kicked butt, lost a pound, and today stuffed myself with massive quantities of pizza. Ah, the good life.

Also, the trip to St. George was awesome. Toby was great in the car (but not so much once we were out of the car, dang kid), the food was amazing, and we had a general blaaaast. Our hotel rocked. And now I really want to go swimming again.

What a nightmare! The last two weeks have been INSANE. Toby and I have been running around like headless chickens. I just want to stay home for once and chill out!! We usually get up at 9 or 10 and are gone literally all day. Tonight we got home at 9. Sheesh, the insanity.

Tomorrow we are going to St. George with my best friend. Best Friend is pregnant and craving a restaurant called Durangos. We used to have one here but it shut down, so we’re driving to St. George to appease the baby in her belly. I’m excited and nervous to have Dr. Angry in the car for so long (that would be Toby, not Best Friend.)

Meanwhile I’m going nuts with my job, which should have been finished on Monday but I’m still working on it and will be till Saturday night. I have a 5K on Saturday. And I have to start packing.

Someday I just want to sit in my bathtub and read and read and read and not feel guilty for neglecting the thousands of other things I am supposed to be doing. Which reminds me, laundry.

“It might not be bad to stay in Craphole Apartments for another year,” I thought to myself. “We do have access to the pool when it’s hot. And the apartment does stay pretty cool through the summer months. And it’s not SO bad having to dodge rabid ducks on the long hike to my car. So what if there’s no natural light? I’ve always wanted to be a vampire anyway.”

And just then our oh-so-helpful upstairs neighbors started partying, complete with booze, loud TV, louder guitars, and screaming/laughing/yelling/stomping/banging/pounding no I don’t want to know what they were doing, thank-you-very-much. Sweet sister Francis, we’ve got to get out of here.

We’ve signed a lease on a brand freakin’ new townhome about 2 miles from where we currently are. Bad news: Nate will no longer be able to walk to work. Good news: just about everything else. This townhouse is an end unit, 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms. The laundry room could be the 4th bedroom, it’s so freaking huge. We have a view of the entire Salt Lake valley. We have a tiny backyard where I can lock Toby out when he’s being bad. (Just kidding!) (Or am I?) There’s a fireplace. There’s a parking spot RIGHT OUTSIDE the front door!! IT’S LIKE A FREAKING MIRACLE.

We move June 1. Am I excited? No. Not really. But I probably will be when our neighbors start partying again.

(Actually I am freakishly excited. I hate staying in one place very long – this is the 3rd time we’ve moved in 2.5 years of marriage.)

Sushi is going to live with a new family today. I’m a little sad about it, but I think it will be for the best. Sushi is a beautiful cat, and I’ve always wanted and loved cats with blue eyes, but I’m just not meshing with him.

I got him for my birthday and it was awesome! He’s always been super cuddly, but that’s part of the problem. Bamboo loves me, but Sushi tries to eat me because he loves me so much. I have to shut the door to our room at night to keep him out, and that makes me sad (and it makes Bamboo and Panda sad too.) When he gets hyper, he is INSANE, and literally climbs the walls. He’s shredded the bottom of our couch to…well, shreds. I can’t have any lamp shades or they’re toast. We go through twice as much cat food, twice as much human food because he eats EVERYTHING, even jalapenos, and we go through 3 times as much toilet paper because he thinks it’s funny to shred it.

In fact, as I was typing that last paragraph, Sushi went up to Toby and stole a chicken nugget right out of his hands. Toby was very upset.

He’s a good cat – if you only have one cat. But with the other 2, things are just too insane. So I will be sad when Sushi goes to live with his new family, but at least he is getting a loving home with kids to love and play with and steal chicken nuggets from.

Today was a very, very bad day.

I woke up still sore and still sick with the creeping crud. It’s not swine flu but I wish it was so I could just DIE ALREADY. I just wanted to lie on the couch and watch TV, but finally after 2 hours of pep talking myself Toby and I went to the gym.

I did get a great workout in, 35 minutes on the elliptical, before the daycare worker came out and told me Toby had a stinky diaper. So we went home and I put him down for a much needed nap. Then I took one of those myself. The only bad part about the day so far was the sicky, the sore, and the two idiot drivers who cut me off and honked at me. NOT MY FAULT YOU RAN A STOP SIGN, IDIOT.

Then Toby woke up and was angry. ANGRY. And I still felt yucky. But he just kept crying for no. reason. Finally I decided to get dinner going, because I’m trying to be healthy and cook dinners for Nate before he gets home from work. So I pull out the salmon and moan because it’s still frozen even though I got it out to thaw yesterday. Then Toby starts throwing a flying fit, so I run to change his diaper. He decides to fight me the whole time, so poop is flung everywhere. What a mess! I got so frustrated that I didn’t even do up his pants, I just plopped him in the crib and left for a minute.

When I came back out to the kitchen, what do I find? A cat IN MY SALMON. At this point I was so upset I broke down and cried. My house is a mess, there’s banana bread everywhere courtesy of Toby, this stupid apartment is falling apart and horrible and yucky and I HATE IT. As I am sobbing in my pillow Nate walks in.

Thank goodness.

He rescues Toby and me and takes us to dinner at Red Robin’s, where I eat way more fries than I should have. But at least I had a Gardenburger to make up for it. Now tomorrow I’ll probably gain the 2 lbs I’ve lost this week.

What a day, what a day. It doesn’t help that I forgot to take my meds this morning, but still. YIKES. Toby hasn’t been so horrible for a long time.

Luckily Nate bought me a ticket to see the midnight premiere of Wolverine. So off I go!!

So incredibly sore. Have you heard of the deck-of-cards workout? Well today, after I went to the gym and biked and swam for an hour, I went to Wendy’s for lunch. Toby and I were desperate, so we each had a kid’s meal with chicken nuggets. I was mad at myself for negating all my hard work, so I took the advice of Jillian Michael’s from The Biggest Loser.

Take a deck of cards – clubs are push-ups, diamonds are jumping-jacks, spades are reverse crunches (which I had never done before and am now convinced they were invented by SATAN) and hearts are normal crunches. Then you take the number on the card and do that many whatevers. Face cards are 10, so if I got a King of Clubs I’d do 10 pushups. Ask me how many times I got face cards in a row (too many.) Aces mean you can rest for one minute. I went through the whole deck. I think I might just die now.

But I can totally feel myself getting stronger (harder, faster, better, stronger!) Even though I haven’t lost A FREAKING POUND, my muscles are definitely developing and I can actually jog for *gasp* 90 seconds at a time now. When you’re as big as me, that’s a huge deal.

Meanwhile, Toby still loves the day care and I still love leaving him there. He’s gotten braver about walking but would still rather crawl, little twerp. Holy crap, I just realized he turned 15 months old yesterday. Sometimes I really want to go back and cuddle the little 4 lb baby that came home from the NICU. It’s enough to make me look into adoption, just because I missed out on the baby-time for various reasons. But seriously, I’m happy that it’s just the three of us right now, and most likely forever. I sometimes think about the Essure failing but that always ends in scary thoughts about having to terminate the pregnancy or risk death and then I’m reminded just why I got sterilized in the first place.

Hey guess what? I can ramble on like nobody else! I’m so freaking tired. Blah blah blah, I have a cute kid who loves me the mostest and he’s ticklish and very funny and he loves loves LOVES books and tries to read to himself and it’s adorkable. Blah blah.